Wednesday, January 11, 2017

365 Project - Day 11 - "Abstract (Caged)"


January 11, 2017 - "Abstract (Caged)"

Feeling kind of caged.

Feeling kind of stuck.

Our roof leaks...

Our house skirting has been ripped apart, and the cold air blows right under the house...

Our pipes froze and burst, partly because of that issue with the skirting...

Our insulation is horrible...

Our front door is broken and needs to be replaced, but the house is so old that in order to do it we have to actually cut a bigger opening and re-frame things to be able to fit a new door...

Our porch is about to collapse...

Our shed is in the process of collapsing...

Our dryer takes eight to ten hours to dry a load of clothes...

Our fridge doesn't quite work right, so the produce drawers fill up with water that needs to be dumped a couple of times a week...

Our heating ducts are so old and falling apart that most of the heat escapes before it makes it to the floor vents...

Our car is having electrical problems...

One of the taillights works one moment, then not the next...

The passenger side door locks and refuses to unlock - and you can't manually unlock it, so you end up having to crawl across to the driver seat to get out of the car...

The trunk handle is snapped off, and it sometimes takes two people to open the trunk...

The gas cap door doesn't open, so you have to stretch yourself across the side of the car, using one foot to lift the lever that's beside the driver's seat - while you reach with you hand to pry the cap door open...

My meds are not working like they should...

I found out today that one of my main doctors is leaving the practice - and I was just getting used to her, as she was the replacement for the doctor I absolutely loved - who had to leave the practice last year when she became a mom...

I'd give anything to be able to move... but we can't...

I'd give anything to be able to get a newer, more reliable car... but we can't...

I'd give anything to find a med that actually works, but it's a very long and frustrating process...

I'd give anything to have a doctor that I don't have to worry about losing once I get comfortable with them...

I'd give anything to be able to go back to what I used to love doing so much - but it's impossible for it to happen the way that I'd "need" it to...

I'd give anything to be able to not care... but I do.

Our house is falling apart around us - but we still have a house. Every month I meet people who would do anything to have a house half as good as what we have.

Our car is falling apart to the point that I want to scream - but we do have a car that gets us where we need to go. Every month I meet people who would do anything to have a car half as good as the one we have.

My health is not good - but I am alive. Every month I meet people who have it so much worse than I have it, health-wise, and who would do anything to have access to medical care that is half as good as what I'm able to receive.

My faith and my love, however, are both very strong and very deep. I have everything I truly need... and am so incredibly grateful for all that I have been blessed with in life.

So why on earth do I feel so "caged"?

Why on earth do I feel so "stuck"?

Lord, I accept what I have been given. I will not ask for more. I accept what I have been given, and offer up my sufferings to you.

I offer up my sufferings to you.

Amen.

*   *   *




No comments: