Wednesday, September 28, 2016

366 Project - Day 272 - "It Hurts..."


September 28, 2016 - "It Hurts..."

It hurts...

When, not even twenty minutes after returning home from school, your child stands across the room screaming at you... screaming that every single thing that is wrong in his life is YOUR fault.

It hurts...

When you realize that you're screaming back... using words you don't even like using... as your heart races and you feel an intense sorrow coming over you.

It hurts...

When your child stomps away crying... and the tears you've been trying to hold back finally crack and release down your cheek.

It hurts...

When you remember being his age... standing on that side of the room.

It hurts...

When you reach into your pocket and feel the reminders... a gift from that very same screaming child... alongside a reminder of the suffering you must be willing to shoulder in life - and the reasons "why?".

It hurts...

When hours later your son comes out and apologizes... and you apologize as well... and realize how incredibly "unnecessary" the moments that led to that were, on both sides of the room.

It hurts...

... and yet there isn't any amount of hurt that I wouldn't be willing to take upon myself for that very same child... and nothing that could ever be said or done that would not be forgiven.

Then it hurts more... when you realize how far you still have to go... how much more forgiving you've been holding off on giving... and how much forgiveness you still need to ask for.

It hurts.

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