Monday, July 11, 2016

366 Project - Day 193 - "The Journey Home (Saying Goodbye)"

July 11, 2016 - "The Journey Home (Saying Goodbye)"

I was right... I wasn't ready to have to say "goodbye".

It really hit me hard last night, as I was stretched out on the couch desperately trying to fall asleep. I cried for what seemed like hours. I don't want to have to say "goodbye". I mean, I know that this goodbye will not be forever... that it's temporary, and is more like a "see you sometime soon" than a "goodbye". It hurts though.

My heart hasn't hurt this way since April 01, 2015... the day my brother Peter died. Now here we are... fifteen months later and I'm about to say leave his wife and daughters almost 700 miles away. It kinda feels like I'm losing him all over again.

Over the last fifteen months there hasn't been a single month where I haven't spent at least one day with Angel and the girls. During the first couple of months after Peter's death I'd see them two, three, four days or more each week. Then, when things calmed down a bit, it became two, three or four times per month. The difference between today and that day fifteen months ago is tremendous. I've watched my sister deal with things no one should ever have to deal with, and she did it better than I ever could in the same situation. I've watched my nieces grow and change so much... and have become quite attached to my youngest niece, Liliana.

But it's time to go.

This morning we performed a little House Blessing ceremony just before Holly and I made our way out. We gave our hugs and kisses... and when I hugged Angel it was the hardest hug I've ever had to release.

I know that things will be OK. I know that this move is going to be good for them. Somehow I just know that my brother is up there smiling... and that as the days turn into weeks and the weeks turn into months, Angel and the girls will find more and more reasons to smile too.

I also know that there's at least two houses for sale just down the road from their new house, so...


Today's journey will be a tough one - and also a very long one. Four hours on an Amtrak bus to get to the train... then we'll be on the train until we pull into Manhattan just around midnight. We'll have to make our way from Penn Station over to Grand Central Terminal to catch a Metro North train from Manhattan to Norwalk... then a cab from that station to Angel's old house to pick up our car so we can drive home to Danbury and collapse on our bed. That moment probably won't come until around 4:00 tomorrow morning... and I fully intend to sleep as late as possible tomorrow!

Today's photo is from our "seventh-inning-stretch" in Washington, D.C.. The train will rest here for about a half-hour before we continue, so we're taking advantage of the opportunity to get off for a bit to stretch and walk around.

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