Tuesday, January 19, 2016

366 Project - Day 19 - "Abstract (Breakthrough)"

January 19, 2016 - "Abstract (Breakthrough)"

Yesterday was a wonderful day... but last night was a very tough night.

"Homework" and "Shower-time" both turned into absolute nightmares... to the point where my son was starting to act out physically. It's extremely hard to get a very strong teenager with autism to calm down at such moments... especially when you, yourself, want to just go hide in your own room and cry it out.

Still... somehow there managed to be a bit of a "breakthrough". Somehow I managed to get him into the bathroom, where we sat talking very calmly and very softly to each other. Well... I did most of the talking... he did a lot of head nodding and one-word answers. I don't know how long it took - maybe it was only five minutes... maybe it was half-an-hour - I don't know. It seemed like a long time though... until the tears finally stopped falling and he reached over and grabbed me and hugged me really tightly, saying "I love you, Dad".

I just about broke down and collapsed at that moment... but somehow I managed to keep myself up. We sat like that for a bit before I said something that got him laughing... and with that he was suddenly clipping his nails and getting into the shower.

Baby steps. It's all about baby steps, I guess. While I fully admit that I'd prefer to have fewer "bad days"... I'm willing to take the bad days, because the good days make them all worthwhile.

Sitting on the edge of the tub with the blue plastic shower curtain bunched up behind me... holding my son tightly as we each said "I love you" - that moment was worth having to go through all of the unpleasant moments that led up to it. That moment was a "breakthrough" moment.

And today is a new day. Maybe it will bring more unpleasant moments... maybe it won't - but either way, I'm ready.


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