Monday, October 5, 2015

365 Project - Day 278 - "Abstract (Anxiety)"

October 05, 2015 - "Abstract (Anxiety)"

This is what anxiety and depression looks like.

Well... this is what it looks like for me... today... anyway.

My anxiety level is so high right now that I have all of the blinds shut... the curtains closed... the doors and windows locked... the phone silenced...

I even hung a towel up to block the frosted glass window of the front door, so no one standing at the door could see the light of my computer or the outline of my movements as I sit and write this, ten feet or so away from the door.

One of the workers doing the sewer-line work outside our house came banging on the door - and it sent me into an absolute panic. I froze. I stood there like a statue, unable to move, for a good five minutes or so.

My cellphone starts buzzing with texts coming in... and again I panic... unable to look to see who they are from.

This is my day today. Taking a Xanax... sitting in a very dark house... making as little noise as possible... trying not to have to interact with anyone.

I wish that I could say my usual "Life is Good!" at the end of this post... but for me... today... I just can't.

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