Friday, May 29, 2015

365 Project - Day 149 - "Boiling Point"


May 29, 2015 - "Boiling Point"

OK. That's it. I've reached my boiling point.

Monday will mark two months since I lost my brother. Two months on an emotional rollercoaster. Two months of constant breakdowns and tears. Two months of releasing emotions... feelings... frustrations... thoughts... While holding back other emotions... feelings... frustrations... thoughts. Two months of "letting things go" without comment.

And now I've reached my boiling point. I've had enough. I'm ready to explode on the next person who pisses me off. It's coming... I can feel it!

I'm freakin' struggling to make it through each day. It's getting harder and harder... not easier and easier. And as difficult as it is for me having lost my brother, I know that it's a million times more difficult for his three daughters... and a billion times more difficult for his wife. I will go out of my way to do anything for them right now. That is what "family" is about. If you have a problem with that, keep it to yourself!

If one more person suggests that I'm wrong for focussing on what I've been focussing on, I will explode on them.

If one more person suggests that I'm wallowing in grief, I will explode on them.

If one more person suggests that I'm not being a good friend/relative/person/whatever to them or that I've been ignoring them, I will explode on them.

If one more person suggests that I "need to get over it already", I will explode on them.

If anyone out there can't accept that - so be it. Unfriend me... Unfollow me... Block me... Remove me from your contacts... Be pissed at me... Refuse to talk to me anymore... I'm OK with that.

I'm done.

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