Thursday, May 14, 2015

365 Project - Day 134 - "Awake Too Early"

May 14, 2015 - "Awake Too Early"

Awake. At least I think I am. It's way too early.

I must have crawled out of bed around 4:00AM or so. I just couldn't sleep. Too much on my mind. Thoughts of my my brother Peter... Thoughts of the family he has left behind... Thoughts of what needs to be done in the coming days... weeks... All mixed with far too many worries.

I just can't sleep.

So here I am... it's a little past 5AM now... sipping coffee... staring at the glow of my computer screen while everyone else sleeps.

Today is going to be another long, tough day. I'll be at Peter's shop tonight preparing things for the upcoming "Liquidation Sale". I think it's going to be a late night too.

I just can't "stop". I can't seem to slow down my brain... which I've been describing as being very much "scrambled" these days. I know I'm exhausted... yet I cannot sleep. I know that everything will work out OK... yet I can't stop worrying... can't stop my mind from racing.

I just want it all to be over... but I know that that day is far, far away. For me it will never be over. It will never end. Life as I have known it has completely changed... it has been completely turned upside-down. Things will never be the same.

I just want my brother back. I want to be able to talk to him... to hug him... to see his smile, even if only one last time.

I'd give almost anything for that.

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