Tuesday, April 14, 2015

365 Project - Day 104 - "One Week Later (Eulogy Outtakes)"

April 14, 2015 - "One Week Later (Eulogy Outtakes)"

It's hard to believe that one week has already passed since I put on this suit, this shirt, this tie - and stood in front of a full church to deliver the Eulogy at my brother Peter's funeral mass.

Two days prior to that mass was Easter Sunday. That evening I visited Peter's family: my wonderful sister-in-law Angel... and my three beautiful nieces, Frannie, Jessica and Liliana. I did not want to let Angel read the Eulogy I had written for my brother... I wanted that to be a special moment in the church, with it being heard for the first time. BUT I desperately wanted to make my sister-in-law laugh and smile for a moment.

I told her that when I sat down to write the Eulogy, I had written down lots of ideas to touch upon about my brother. I said that I had a list of bullet-points that did not make the cut, but I wanted to share them with her:

My brother Peter...

* Had a big heart... and lots of gas
* Loved soft-serve ice cream from Dairy Queen... sometimes with sprinkles
* Loved both the NY Mets and the NY Giants... and loved complaining about how shitty they were playing.
* Loved to point out how fat people had gotten.
* Not many people know this... but he REALLY liked rice pudding.
* He loved the music of James Brown and Maceo Parker... but had a secret love for the music of ABBA, and on more than one occasion had been caught belting out "Dancing Queen" while he drove.
* It really, really bothered him when people on Facebook posted about what they were eating.
* Was really the only person who was able to pull off that whole "Z. Cavaricci" pants thing in the late-80s
* Had an unhealthy obsession with Wonder Woman
* Never refused a piece of cake at a birthday party.
* During the course of his life he has resembled Jim Morrison, Jon Bon Jovi and - for a brief period - John Travolta's character from "Pulp Fiction" (which, by-the-way, he felt was a very over-rated movie)
* Frequently texted rather inappropriate, but hilarious photos.
* Hated when people put the lid down on the toilet because it caused him to have to wait a second longer to pee.

About 99.99% of those bullet-points are true. I'm not 100% sure about the ABBA part... or about how Peter really felt about the movie "Pulp Fiction".

Angel and the rest of the family laughed with each and every line. My mission was accomplished.

(She then reminded me that at one point Peter had also looked like Johnny Depp.)

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