Saturday, March 5, 2011

"What happened to your arm?"

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People see the brace I've been having to wear on my right hand/arm and feel inclined to ask "What happened?". I can't even begin to count the number of times it has happened to me over the past few days. It gets exhausting trying to explain it over-and-over again... so I've taken to making stuff up, just to have some fun with it.

"A Teabagger found out I'm pro-choice, and tried to kill me!"

"My friend tricked me into going to a Neil Young concert... and it was so bad I tried to kill myself."

"I was attacked by a marmot."

"Chess injury"

"Repetitive Strain Injury from too much Facebooking"

"I botched the landing on my Uneven Bars Routine"

"I put my hand in the air... and waved it like I just didn't care."

"I tried to high-five the Queen. Apparently you're not supposed to do that!"

"THIS IS WHAT YOU GET IN MY HOUSE WHEN YOU SPILL PAINT IN THE GARAGE!"

"I went to the audience-participation screening of '127 Hours'"

"This is what happens when a Wiccan tries to receive Holy Communion!"


And my personal favorite...

"I entered an arm wrestling contest in an Okie bar in San Francisco. I got to the semi finals celebrating my third wife’s demise and a big Chinese fella pulled me right over."

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