Friday, September 26, 2008

Daydreams of then or now

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Cold autumn winds blow rain against the diner window next to me where it forms magnifying trails of the world outside.

(Louis Armstrong sings from the greasy chrome table-side jukebox...

... "What a Wonderful World")


I unzip the rain-wet outer-layer black hoodie...

revealing a flannel which has seen far better days over the last 15 years...

and adjust myself as I toss it on the seat beside me.

Open "beat-up-WWII-army-bag-serving-as-messenger-bag-backpack"...

... pull out Moleskine and pen...

and get to work.

(Everything seems like a black-and-white photo to me.)

Waitress comes... bearing gift of coffee.

(Funny... same waitress for almost ten years now... and I STILL don't know her name!)

She smiles...

... I smile...

She asks "the usual?"...

I - not realizing that I'm that obvious... embarrassingly nod "yes"...

and blindly reach for the sugar jar...

the creamers...

and prep my coffee without even thinking.

Steam-smoke rises as I take the first sip.

Diner coffee.

Bad coffee.

Yet the most wonderful coffee in the world!

(Back to work)

Pen starts moving across page after page.

Furious writing... flowing from I don't know where.

Flowing...

Smudging here and there as hand brushes across still-wet ink...

Running...

... on-and-on...

without thought or reason...

just appearing.

(Like now... for I truly have no idea what I am writing)

She returns...

two eggs over-medium...

French Fries instead of home-fries...

toast drenched in butter...

side of very crisp bacon...

(THIS is my usual? No wonder my doctor wasn't happy!)

Ketchup flies across the plate in a condimentary pattern...

("condimentary"... that's not a word, is it? Yet I just used it... and it's the only word which could truly convey what I meant... so... I guess it IS)

... and I begin to eat... without thinking...

... as I continue to drink my coffee... without thinking...

... as I continue to write... without thinking...

... all while I continue to "exist"... without thinking.

Memories come and go during the in-betweens...

... countless dates and meetings held here...

... friendships formed...

... relationships ended...

... lessons learned...

... and shared.

The nameless waitress returns...

refills the cup...

... removes the plates...

... exchanges them with a piece of coconut custard pie...

(Apparently a continuation of my "usual". This is just getting "worse"!)

My mind wanders to an endless trail of "I wonder what ever happened to ______" and "I remember the time that _________"...

... and so on.

The rain slows...

the check appears...

and I sit...

alone...

and lost...

waiting for another refill.


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