Friday, August 22, 2008

Sometimes...

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Sometimes you just have to write...

but you don't know what to say.

It's not that you don't have anything to say...

it's just that your mind gets a bit fuzzy...

and the words get lost...

and tangents come and go...

and come again...

and before you know it you're just sitting there...

staring at a blank piece of paper...

or a glowing screen...

completely lost...

knowing that you "should"...

but feeling as if you "can't"...

or... at least... that you just don't know "how".

(It can be a very scary place to be!)

So you look for things to help bring the words out to the surface.

For some it's wine.

For some it's cocaine.

For some it's sex.

For some it's locking themselves in a room with nothing but their memories.

For some it's a plate of apple pie and vanilla ice cream at a diner at 3am.

For some it's a white plaster bust of Shakespeare.

For some it's the explosion of color in a Kandinsky... or a Pollock... or a Basquiat... or... of course... a van Gogh.

Or... the black-meets-white-meets-gray beauty of a Mapplethorpe photograph.

For some it's Hemingway's words... (O Me! O Life!)

For some it's walking the streets of the city.

For some it's the sound of Miles Davis' muted trumpet in "Recollections"...

or the power of Dawn Upshaw performing Górecki's Symphony No. 3.

(And for some it's a combination of "all"... or "none" - of the above)

And sometimes it works... beautifully.

They come alive...

and in a fury of creation - the words flow like notes from Coltrane's sax...

quickly and beautifully...

falling.

Yet sometimes it doesn't work...

and they're left staring at the blank page...

the glowing screen...

even more lost than before...

until they give up... and walk away...

frightened...

and mourning for what could have been.


Sometimes you just have to write...

but you don't know what to say...

so you grab yourself a cup of coffee...

sit down... here...

and before you know it... you've said something...

and are about to click "Preview & Post" on another blog entry.

(And having released that... you suddenly feel "free"... to breathe)

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